“My roommate is killing
me!” “My roommate is an idiot!” “I hate my roommate!” These must be most common sentences I have
heard from the students who have some roommate issues. Since the cultures are so different between the US and
China, it is really normal these Chinese students and their roommates are going
to have different kinds of issues. For last year the number of Chinese students in
United States was almost thirteen hundred. With this large numbers of Chinese
students come
to America, it is really important for these students
to have a good relationship with
their roommates.
As a Chinese student who has been to US for two years, I am really glad to tell
others some of my experiences and some useful way to deal with these issues.
As
my own experiences, I will lists the most
common issues the students will have when they live with their roommates, and
also I will give those Chinese students who are going to USA and having
roommates some tips about how to handle these issues in a appropriate way, in
which I think will help you the most, then at last, I will explain why these
tips are helpful when dealing with these conflicts.
NEATNESS
I believe the problem
neatness is maybe the first conflict you will have with your roommate. Sometime
if your roommate is quite a lazy person, and he or she does not want to spend
even one minute to clean up the room and the bathroom, and unluckily you are
those kind of person who would like to keep his room clean and does not even
want to see a little dirty on your carpet, then living with you roommate will
drives you crazy. The conflict also happens when the Chinese student is the one
who does not clean the room.
TIPS
Trying to have a little
talk with your roommate, try to let them know you thought, and maybe you can
create a schedule on when or how often should each of you clean up. If your
roommate does not care what you have told him/her, sometimes you have to take a
step back, do some cleaning yourself, even it is your roommate's duty, after
all you have done, and your roommate will realize it is time for him/her to do
something for you. If you are the one who do not clean the room, ones you
realize your roommate is upset with you habit, you should try you best to
correct you mistake, to do more work to change the situation. (I had a roommate
who just did not do anything to clean the room, and I use the way I said, at
last he started to do some work and it worked perfectly.)
WHY
Every people is raised
in different family from different cultures, it is understandable that you and
your roommate have different habit of room clean, because for the most students
from China, since we are in the elementary school, all we had to do in just
study, the parents would take care of everything, so that might be the reason
why a lot of Chinese students do know what to do once they leave the parents,
sometimes that happens to the US students; and it is almost impossible to
change one's living habit in a short time, so try to be patient, and do more at
beginning, you will get benefit from it at last.
ALCOHOL
Alcohol maybe the most
common problem you will have with you roommate, because in China students do
not drink a lot, but here, sometimes things are different, you may have a
alcoholic roommate, who has been drunk all the time, and speak loudly in the
room, which will affects you study and sleep.
Tips
Trust me, to live with
this kind of roommate is not the end of the world, the first thing you have to
learn is try to cover for him/her, when the RA is coming ; or you can have a little drink with him/her;
try to talk whit your roommate.
Why
Ones you cover for
him/her, they will think you are a good roommate, and drink with them will let
them trust you, the previous two steps are the preparation of the last step,
the reason why people is because you have some problems deep inside, and cannot get over it, the best way to
handle is to talk, you have to try to know what is the problem that makes
him/her want to drink, ones you know why, you can help them to solve it in
another. One day you will find that your roommate does not drink that much anymore.
GUEST
Us students like to
invite friends to their to have fun, sometime it is a good thing for Chinese
students, because they can spend more time to stay with the us students, it
will helps them to improve their English, and communication skills; on the
other hands, bring friends to the room stay for a long time will affects
roommate's study.
Tip
When you roommate is having friends in your
room, sometimes you can join them, having fun; however, when you do not feel
like staying with them, you can go to the library to study, or you can take to
you roommates to go to other's room.
Why
Having friends in the
room to have fun is a good way to lean to communicate, it will helps a lot, but
ones you feel like it has already affected you study or rest, you should stay
away or protect you own right.
To deal with the
roommates conflicts is not a difficult thing to do, ones you have issues with
your US roommate, do not think It is the end of the world, you have to know is
the misunderstandings of the different cultures. So the first thing you have to
do is to communicate with your roommate, and compromise a little bit (because
in Chinese culture, suffering a loss is a blessing).
